monday songs

this is the first of the three-part “manic” section. when mania begins, it feels like perfection. deeply healthy, clear and uncluttered, fear ebbs, but reality is still well in hand.

i actually made this shortly after leaving microsoft, in late 2014. the rest of the visual editing took place in early 2016.

 
this is the second part of the “kindling” section, featuring sequences from wall-e and harold and maude. elevator going up…

the fourth installment in “up, up, and away” takes a positive turn, as we start the “kindling” section, featuring scenes from spring, summer, fall, winter… and spring as well as a number of cool timelapse sequence borrowed from youtube.

kindling is the first phase in a manic experience, like pulling back the bow string before launching the arrow. the return of a sense of comfort after a long depression can feel like the world has become a magical place. and with every step regaining energy and balance the path can tilt steeper and steeper forward, until you start rolling down hill.

 
“swept away” is the second half of the “depression” sequence, with a focus on suicide, which is unfortunately a popular outcome of bipolar disorder/manic depression. even those who never attempt it, spend a lot of time thinking about it: a desperate grasp for control in a life that offers far too little of it. the sequence features scenes from harold and maude, the tenant, antichrist, and a cameo from the ring.
 

this is the second video from the soon-to-be-released “up, up, and away.”
after the overview provided by “the cure,” “cattle” opens part one, a two-song sequence focused on “depression” and feature scenes from koyaanasqatsi, the manchurian candidate, and some rather graphic footage from a beef processing plant.

the entire suite tracks an experience of bipolar mania from beginning to end.
my experience of mania was one of relentless association driven by a kind of serendipitous synchronization that occurred over and over: random external information would be given great importance through its connection to some awakened memory or new-found enthusiasm spontaneously leaping up to meet it. it felt distinctly like the world was paying attention to me.

but the journey starts at the bottom, where there is very little feeling of connection.
to anything or anyone.

over the next few months i’ll be releasing rough cuts from my upcoming album/video up, up, and away.

the first installment is “the cure,” aka monday song #11. this piece serves as an intro to the coming videos, which, as a whole, will outline my experience of a manic episode and hospitalization back in 1999. “the cure” features scenes from one flew over the cuckoo’s nest, a tale of two sisters, and lars von trier’s antichrist.

i’ll be doing some slight tweaks to the audio mix, as well as re-editing to create a consistent final throughline.