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after last week’s breakthrough to the brighter side, i was excited to keep my eye on the positive side and deliver some more upbeat music. but when i heard that vic chestnutt had committed suicide, i just couldn’t get it off my mind, and figured i should pay tribute. More »
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with number 35 i’m taking a break from my manic suite and breaking many of the rules of monday songs, perhaps retiring them permanently. the song has overdubbed instruments, vocal harmonies, and has nothing sad about it. it’s the most fun i’ve had doing a song in a few months. More »
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with number 34 i begin the second year of monday songs. i hope to be a bit more consistent in 2010, in songwriting, in many things…
another in the “mind on fire” cycle. mostly speaks for itself, in that it says very little, and suggests less. and more. More »
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number 33. jesus’s age when he languished on the cross. the age i was when i slipped over the edge. i was well aware of the jesus connection. in fact, i had a crucifixion of my own. but that is for another monday.
the escalation to psychosis took some days, even some weeks. the first clear spark was on the thursday before. friday the ropes were cut and the balloon started to rise, but only on monday did i reach the part of the atmosphere where the air gets thin. it was becoming impossible not to notice i was cracking up, at least from the outside looking in. More »
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manic depression is always portrayed by a kinetic actor balancing energy and speed.
but there is another mood that is just as prevalent: the racing mind and quiet body. thinking done with teeth gritted, grinding and grinding. More »
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this week we embark on open-ended exploration of the height of heights, and the depths of despair.
wait a minute, that was what “connect the dots” was all about. minus the height of heights.
ten years ago today (september 21, 1999) i lost my mind and spent the better part of a week in the psych ward at herrick hospital (berkeley). the medication that was meant to make me feel well, did a whole lot more, and i exploded into a state of florid mania, with all the messianic fervor and high-mindedness that usually accompanies it. More »
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thus ends the cycle “connect the dots.”
i have loved “jesus christ superstar” since elementary school. after the crucifixion, there is a final number called john 19:41. i listened for years without ever inspecting what lay there, i assumed he got sucked up to heaven in a brilliant white light. More »
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number 29, the penultimate installment of “connect the dots.”
mr. sullivan swims back to the day he lost his son. thanksgiving 1985. More »
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this is the start of a three song death scene. clarity is coming for mr. sullivan, and so is the end of this song cycle. the first step is acceptance. at that point he will be opened up to his core. and then the curtains will fall.
as introduced at the end of “the button,” as mr. sullivan sinks toward his end, his son approaches, asking him to stay. this song is in the voice of the son, who has had more time to adjust to these strange surroundings. More »
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probably the most depressing song yet, but i’m sure i can top it.
after two weeks of revery, mr. sullivan emerges back in his hospital room. things continue downhill.
not much to say here. the battlefield has shrunk to the point of the few inches that separate reality from dreams, and for our hero, the lines are drawing still closer. More »
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