up, up, and away #16: "a great fall"

the final sequence is titled “the return,” which closes the loop with the depression that started the cycle. it is at once the same and new: a more complex depression that includes the loss of what had at first looked like an escape earned by years of suffering. like passing seasons, moving forward standing still…

all of the visuals are from lars von trier’s exploration of depression, melancholia.

up, up, and away #14: "afterglow"

the end of the “restraints” sequence, something like christ’s burial before the ascent to heaven. but in this story, the ascent to heaven only happens in fantasy (the next chapter), and the ultimate awakening at the end of the path is to life in the grave, aka depression.

the scene comes from the opening of sunset boulevard, offering the perfect visual of death and suspension, and the howling indifference of the outside world.

up, up, and away #13: "crucifixion is easy"

the second video of three in the “restraints” sequence features scenes from the tenantthe hunchback of notre dame, and dancer in the dark.

the christ-like love and connection that marks the peak of a florid manic episode suddenly slopes downward toward destruction and loss, spiraling toward the end which nailed to a cross.