another unfamiliar bed. although this one is oddly familiar.
she stares at the institutional acoustic paneling on the ceiling, looking for patterns in the tiny holes, stringing together constellations, waiting for the transition between one unreality and another. read more >
cheever street, late afternoon. a muffled roar pulses from a garage near the end of the block. from outside the clamor is hard to recognize, but the roar demands attention. more than one neighbor watches their clock for the agreed upon curfew of six pm to arrive, when they can call to complain. why they ever agreed to tolerate the racket is a mystery to each. he used to be such a nice boy.
step inside and the volume increases but remains indistinct without earplugs, but when you see the source, it is instantly recognizable as an up tempo punk rock song. read more >
with number 34 i begin the second year of monday songs. i hope to be a bit more consistent in 2010: in songwriting, in many things…
another in the “mind on fire” cycle. mostly speaks for itself, in that it says very little, and suggests less. and more. read more >
number 33. jesus’s age when he languished on the cross. the age i was when i slipped over the edge. i was well aware of the jesus connection. in fact, i had a crucifixion of my own. but that is for another monday.
the escalation to psychosis took some days, even some weeks. the first clear spark was on the thursday before. friday the ropes were cut and the balloon started to rise, but only on monday did i reach the part of the atmosphere where the air gets thin. it was becoming impossible not to notice i was cracking up, at least from the outside looking in. read more >
manic depression is always portrayed by a kinetic actor balancing energy and speed.
but there is another mood that is just as prevalent: the racing mind and quiet body. thinking done with teeth gritted, grinding and grinding. read more >
this week we embark on an open-ended exploration of the height of heights, and the depths of despair.
wait a minute, that was what “connect the dots” was all about. minus the height of heights.
ten years ago today (september 21, 1999) i lost my mind and spent the better part of a week in the psych ward at herrick hospital (berkeley). the medication that was meant to make me feel well, did a whole lot more, and i exploded into a state of florid mania, with all the messianic fervor and high-mindedness that usually accompanies it. read more >